Thursday, April 16, 2009

First Round Predictions

Detroit lost their heart and soul when they dealt Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson earlier this season. Additionally, Rasheed Wallace has never seemed more apathetic. The Cavs should steamroll Detroit in 5 games and officially end the Michael Curry Era in Motor City.

With the news that KG might miss the entire postseason, the first round of the playoffs just got a lot more interesting for Boston. Suddenly, they become a perimeter team that relies on Paul Pierce to do all the heavy lifting on offense AND check John Salmons on D. Since adding Salmons and Brad Miller, the Bulls have settled nicely into their roles. I'm still picking Boston here but it'll be a long, drawn-out series that drains Pierce and Ray Ray for whoever they face next. The champs are wobbly but I don't see 'em getting KO'd by this glass-jaw Chicago team. Celtics in 7.

*UPDATE: Danny Ainge just had a heart attack; the Shitbury Curse continues.

I'm not a big fan of the Orlando Magic. Teams that rely too much on spot up shooting rarely win titles. Factor in the recent injuries to Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis and this bunch seems ripe for an upset. Too bad Philly ain't good enough to capitalize. Watching pencil-neck Samuel Dalembert try to check 'roid beast Dwight Howard will be laughable. Orlando in 6.

Atlanta's home court advantage will be the deciding factor in a high scoring series featuring some eye-popping performances by Dwyane Wade. Al Horford will dominate inside for the Hawks on both ends. Atlanta in 7.

In the West, I don't see Utah's feeble defense offering much resistance to the high-octane Lakers attack. LA in 5. Yawn.

The Hornets will upset the Denver Nuggets in 6 if Tyson Chandler is healthy enough to play. Without him, I'll go with Denver in 7. Even though they added Big Shot Billups, Denver still ain't going very far in the playoffs without a true center. A memo to Kroenke The Donkey: imagine how good your team would be if you didn't give away two-time Defensive Player Of The Year, Marcus Camby.

Manu Ginobili's out but the Spurs will still handle the toothless Mavericks and their pussified brand of non-contact basketball. San Antonio in 6.

Probably the most evenly matched of all the first round series. The Rockets can put Artest or Battier on Brandon Roy, forcing other Blazers to beat them. On the flip side, Portland can throw the Vanilla Gorilla and Greg Olden at Yao. So really, it becomes a battle of supporting casts. Look for a big series from the Blazers bench as Portland advances by a hair in 7.

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