Sunday, September 30, 2012

Your Annotated Smartphone Bathroom Reader for Sunday, September 30, 2012.

Your Annotated Smartphone Bathroom Reader for Sunday, September 30, 2012.

Unfortunately, despite exhaustive searching on Google Images, I was not able to find a picture of Daryl Morey pooping.

When Do We Stop Caring?
rbiegler
Sactown Royalty

Those who survived the Sonics' last season in Seattle detail a sorry scene: where fans, for the first time, felt uncomfortable cheering for something that seemed destined to leave, and before long, stopped attending games and protesting a potential relocation as a means both to cope with the inevitable and also too not give too much financial support for an ownership group that seemed hellbent on screwing them over. Sadly, if this well written piece from Sactown Royalty is any indication, it seems that that moment has arrived for fans of the Sacramento Kings. The author of this piece, "rbiegler", seems openly anxious for the start of this Kings season, when support for keeping the Kings in town, and essentially rewarding the Brothers Maloof and their bad behavior, seems destined to come to an ugly end. Rbiegler does a good job listing off all the things that come with a professional sports team -- radio shows, bars, local commercials, and a different way to structure your year -- and how the Kings' presumed departure will take this away from them forever. It's a heartbreaking piece.
-JG
How Does a King's Fan Root For This Team?
section214
Sactown Royalty

In the above cited piece, also from Sactown Royalty, the author looks at the ramifications of whether the Kings leave or stay. This piece takes a closer look at a small piece of that pie: how do King's fans continue to root for their team? Author "section214" ultimately takes a pluralistic approach, arguing that there is no "right" or "wrong" way for fans to act in this unfortunate season. The piece ends with two lines that I thought were striking:

Go Kings.

Go Kings Fans.
Teams and there fans are often spoken of as if they are one entity. After all, what is a sports team without its fans? Thanks to the Maloof Brothers, we might just find out.
-FM
League's Answer to Floppers Might Run Afoul Upon Further Review
Ken Berger
CBS Sports

Ken Berger reports from the league's annual NBA referee camp, where the refs are apparently in a great mood, given the NFL's recent presentation of how truly difficult it is to properly officiate a professional sports game. Berger notes that one issue not discussed was flopping, which has officially fallen under the league office. Berger explains the trickiness of officiating the game from NBA headquarters in New York, where fines will send messages about the legitimacy of wins, and thus the product on the court (as well as the referees who oversee the product). Berger's comparison of the referees and league office to local police and the FBI, and flopping as a federal offense, is very interesting.
-JG
For Brooklyn's New Arena, Day 1 Brings Hip-Hop Fans and Protests
N.R. Kleinfield
New York Times

The New Jersey Brooklyn Nets media team has done a fantastic job dominating the offseason. It seems like every other day I am reading a story about how the new Barlclays center will make it easier to use public transportation, or about how it is eschewing Aramark and other large concessions companies and inviting local business to provide concessions. But, as any frequent reader of this blog knows, stadium construction is rarely sunshine and roses. In the Barclays Center case, in exchange for taxpayers heavily subsidizing the project, developer Bruce Ratner has promised to build gobs of housing. While the Barclays Center has opened with a Jay-Z concert, groundbreaking on the housing has yet to begin. Kleinfield spends a day outside of the Barclays Center, interacting with protesters, developers, concertgoers, residents and local businesses. In the end, Kleinfield is unable to answer the underlying question: is the Barclays Center good for Brooklyn? Only time will tell.
-FM
IAm the Houston Rockets GM, AMA
Daryl Morey
Reddit

Not an article per se, but you can read it on your smartphone in the bathroom right? Daryl Morey, the Houston Rockets GM, went on Reddit recently and answered a ton of questions (including one of mine!) So many people do AMAs on Reddit now that it is essentially another stop on the publicity tour. While I'm sure that factor didn't hurt, Morey seems to have just wanted to answer a bunch of questions, and that's what he did. He gets a lot of credit for answering all top-ranked questions, including one about why he donated money to Mitt Romney, and when he couldn't answer a question he gave legitimate reasons why not (I am prohibited by the NBA from talking about that, I can't answer that because of competitive reasons). This will only further Morey's reputation as the Bill Simmons-proclaimed Dork Elvis.
-FM

Friday, September 28, 2012

Diss Guy Miss Guy, Volume 12

Diss Guy Miss Guy, Volume 12

Diss Guy: Kenyon Dooling

Because what they do is glamorized by society (including this lovely publication), it's sometimes hard to remember that NBA players are just regular dudes that happen to be really good at throwing a spherical object into a cylindrical object. Not coincidentally, my favorite stories are often those that remind us that NBA stardom, let alone NBA off-the-benchdom, is no ticket to a worry-free life.

Enter Kenyon Dooling who, to be honest, hasn't flashed across my consciousness very often. I have vague memories of him being apart of those exciting early 2000's Clippers teams with Lamar Odom, Elton Brand and Quentin Richardson, and know him as one of Dwight Howard's sidekicks in Orlando, but when he announced his retirement a week ago I barely blinked. I didn't stop and ask why a guy who signed a free agent contract a few months before was retiring, or why a guy who was 31 and still in demand was retiring. I just let it pass me by.

So why did Dooling retire? Plain and simple, he didn't want to ball anymore. He's done. His body hurts, he hasn't spent enough time with his family, and he is dealing with some heavy emotional issues leftover from a childhood filled with abuse. He has earned close to $30 million in his career, and he was ready to walk away. As he says, “The average career is 4 1/2 years and I tripled that, almost." Yes you did Kenyon, yes you did.

Miss Guys: Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen

On the heels of Kenyon Dooling's emotional retirement comes the ridiculous story that Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen had a dance-off to Trey Songz and Fabulous' "Say Ahh" at Pippen's 47th birthday party. What?

There are so many ridiculous parts of this story. First, the guest list included Jordan, Bulls President Michael Reinsdorf and his wife, Amad Rashad, Nazr Mohammed, ANTOINE WALKER and Worldwide Wes. That's about as bizarre of a collection of people loosely affiliated with the NBA as I can imagine.

Second, what are a bunch of people in their late 40's doing at a club? Admittedly, I have zero percent expertise on the Chicago club scene, but wouldn't they prefer sitting around a living room drinking wine, or perhaps a group trip to Hawaii or something?

Finally, what the fuck are Jordan and Pippen doing have a dance contest? What were the rules of this contest? Was it friendly (yeah right, Michael Jordan was involved) or competitive? Was Jordan wearing his usual pair of hilariously large and distressed in all the right places jeans? Why did they choose to dance to "Say Ahh"? Did Jordan hog the dance floor? Does ANYBODY, for the love of god, have video of this?

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Michael Beasley, it's Time to Get Started.

Michael Beasley, it's Time to Get Started.

Michael Beasley became a Diss player three years before the Diss was even born, and about five months before he played a game in the league.

It was July 2008. He had just been drafted second overall by the Miami Heat, who were ready to take whomever was the "loser" in the "who should Chicago draft, Michael Beasley or Derrick Rose?" question that bogged down the airwaves and blogrolls in the late spring and early summer of 2008.  Now he was poised to team up with Dwayne Wade and lead the Heat back to the playoffs, and eventually, an NBA title.


But first he had to get through his pre-rookie year summer, and that turned out to be tougher than we thought.  Of course, he got busted for smoking weed  (alongside Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur) and bringing girls up to his hotel room at the Rookie symposium, but the first "red flag" that was raised above B-Easy's head happened during his summer league debut.  Despite the fact that Beasley scored 23 points in 28 minutes (while nursing a cracked sternum), and according to John Denton, looked like the much better draft pick compared to a "jittery and shockingly unsure" Derrick Rose, most observers were shocked and concerned that Beasley scored all of his points while singing aloud.  This seemed to confirm certain misgivings that some teams and journalists had about B-Easy's work ethic and mindset.  At the time, Beasley disagreed.  "It's just basketball, man.  Played it in college, high school and middle school.  The same game, same concepts, the same rules.  I was just out there having fun."


As we enter Beasley's fifth season in the league, it's striking how much has changed, yet how much has remained the same.  Derrick Rose is no longer described as "shockingly unsure", and there are few doubts that the Bulls chose wisely in the Rose-Beasley debate.  Beasley is no longer a member of the Heat, and is now on his way to his third team.  His game, overall, has changed as well; he no longer "drives to the rim with reckless abandon", settling instead for long range jumpers.  But many things have remained frustratingly stagnant.  While B-Easy is still "just out there having fun" and continues to just "go and play", that has not translated to wins, or really even individual success.  And he's continued to deal with injuries.  Lots of them, in fact; he missed 8 games in 2011, and 19 games in 2012.  All of this has produced the player we get today: a player with career averages 15.1 points and 5.6 rebounds per game, but who has quickly become disposable due to his inefficiencies, unreached potential, and frustratingly inaccessible talents.

His last season in Minnesota highlighted the problems with B-Easy's current evolution into whatever he's turning into -- something less than a full-fledged bust, but certainly a career that looks strikingly different than the multiple All Star appearances that we all imagined for him.  Most of his numbers were career lows due to three reasons: injury, imbalance and instability.  His scoring fell to 11.5 per game as he settled on contested jump shots (from just inside the three point line; low-percentage attempts that yielded less payoff in the end).  His distance from the hoop didn't allow him to crash the boards with the gusto he had in his first two seasons (and his 5.7 average as a full-time starter put him in the lower half of the league compared to his fellow starting small forwards).  Much of this had to do with the fact that he never established a role with either of the coaching staffs he worked with in Minnesota.  He started as a full-time small forward with former coach Kurt Rambis, but mostly came off the bench as a three-four for standing coach Rick Adelman.  His efficiency indicies were troubling, as his PER (13.0), Win Share (0.5) and Offensive Rating (95) all fell from slightly above league average to below league average.  It was a nadir in a career that overall is trending downwards.


Yet, for all of his struggles, B-Easy did not lose friends. Why would he? By all accounts, B-Easy showed up for work on time, stayed out of trouble, and was a positive, outgoing presence in the locker room.  His famously bizarre personality may have rubbed some the wrong way while the ship sank in the second part of the season, but as he might say: "I felt like me."  His coping mechanism seemed to be the fact that litte has changed since his first summer league game against Derrick Rose way back in 2008. For him now, just like then, "it's just basketball, man."  This isn't to say he doesn't care.  Far from it.  But it's just basketball, man.  Why get too worked up?  It's just basketball, man.

And he's right.  It is just basketball.  Which is good that he's on his way to Phoenix, where the desert winds seem to cry: "it's just basketball, man".

*****

In July, Michael Beasley sold his Minnetonka home (as well as his book of Ingmar Bergman screenplays) and moved to a new city: Phoenix, Arizona, where he had just signed a three year, $18 million dollar contract to play for Alvin Gentry's Phoenix Suns.

The Suns exist as something as a NBA Mayo Clinic for troubled souls.  The Suns high octane offense, lauded training staff, and ability to consistently compete (and occasionally contend) have established themselves as a generally positive landing spot.  Many players have rejuvenated their bodies, minds, and careers while playing for the Suns.  Folks know the big names like Steve Nash, Grant Hill, Shaquille O'Neal.  Some might even know the lesser figures like Jared Dudley, Jason Richardson and Marcin Gortat.


But many might not remember Tim Thomas at this point .  Thomas, of course, was the famously talented forward who, according to most pundits, did not "get it" in his ten season career.   Many teams  (either teams, though he was traded nine times) signed him, intrigued by the unique skill set he presented. As a 6'10' swingman who could reasonably defend all three forward positions, and whose long arms, ability to bang down low, employ a bit of finesse, rebound, and most usefully stretch the floor and hit deep threes, he was in many ways America's answer to the Euro-forward who was in vogue at the time.  But, as always, a questionable work ethic, poor conditioning and the always damning "locker room cancer" label followed him everywhere he went.  Tim Thomas was never going to "get it".

But in one spot -- Phoenix, in 2006 -- Tim Thomas got it.

*****
The thing was, in Phoenix, Tim Thomas was good essentially because he could be himself.  In all of his stops prior to Phoenix, Thomas was tasked with becoming whatever the narrative stated he needed to be to be valued in the public's eye.  In Philly, it was to be Allen Iverson's running mate, and a presence in the paint.  Fat chance.  In Milwaukee, it was to be the fourth member of the Big Three of Cassell, Big Dog and Ray Ray, and again, mostly muscle down low (all three of those guys were jump shooters).  Okay, maybe for awhile, but not with George Karl, and not in Milwaukee.  After that, in New York and Chicago, it was to stay out of trouble while playing for mercurial hard asses like Larry Brown and Scott Skiles, while playing inconsistently.  Nope, not a chance.  Thomas seemed unmotivated to become what others wanted him to be, especially when he never had a choice in the matter.

What we see is when Thomas got a choice, he made the most of it, and succeeded at being himself -- at least his basketball playing self.  When he arrived in Phoenix in early March, claimed off the waiver wires after almost four months on the shelf, he became a part-time starter, and full time shooter.  Phoenix used him, and implored him to do what he did best: score.  Mike D'Antoni's famous "Seven Seconds or Less" offense, a high-tempo, shot-happy system that relied upon jump shooters who weren't afraid to let it fly, was perfect for Tim Thomas.  He played the four and the five (Amar'e Stoudemire was out for that season recovering from microfracture surgery), and was taked with creating space and shooting when he was open.  He spent the regular season getting back into shape, and by the playoffs he was ready.


Though he didn't get a lot of time late in the regular season, he stepped up in the playoffs.  Big.  The offensive numbers tell a brilliant story: 20 games, zero starts, but averages of 15 points and 6 rebounds on 50% shooting.  His threes are amazing across the board: 48 threes on 108 attempts, good for 44%.  His advanced stats are wonderful as well: a player efficiency rating of 16.4, a stupendous offensive rating of 119, and a career high win share of 1.9.  It was a banner year for Tim Thomas.  By every metric, he was a highly efficient offensive player, and a contributing member on a team that went deep into the playoffs.


But they only tell part of the story.  Throughout that 2006 playoff run, Tim Thomas was a big game player; the Suns' version of Robert Horry.  When the Suns trailed 3-2 in their first round series against the Lakers, and facing elimination, it was Tim Thomas who hit the big three as time expired to force overtime, and hit another big three in the extra period to beat the Lakers.  The Suns would win Game 7 by 31 points, and overcome a 3-1 deficit.  In the next series against the Clippers, he would move to a starters role, and continue to pour in the points.  He hit big shots against the Clippers, and played a key role in the Game 7 thriller which sunk the other team from LA, doing what he did best: hitting shots.  Though the Suns would flame out against the Mavs in a six game Western Conference Finals, Tim Thomas stayed hot, averaging 20 points in the series, and putting up big shots until the very end.  For once, he got it.

And, unsurprisingly, as a free agent that summer, he got his: a 4 year, $24 million deal with the Clips.

*****

I think you know where I'm going with this by now.  I think Michael Beasley could learn much from Tim Thomas' success as a Sun.

The first is that Phoenix is the place for multi-talented offensive forwards to roam.  Tim Thomas was one of several offensively gifted forwards who have found salvation in the SSOL offense, a variant of which coach Alvin Gentry still utilizes.  As the team's presumptive starting small forward (though positionality still remains a suggestion, and not an all out requirement), Beasley will be asked to do many of the same things Tim Thomas was tasked with doing in 2006.  Already a gifted scorer from the wings, Beasley will have ample opportunities to launch jumpers from either of the corners, or drive to the hoop and attempt to get points at the charity stripe.  Defense -- never a priority for B-Easy -- will be put on the backburner while the Suns attempt to run every team out of the gym.  If he can stay healthy, and continue to hoist shots with the abandon that he's showed in his first four years, we may see a different, more valuable side of B-Easy.


The second is that Phoenix is the place for pro ballers who would sum up their job performances with an unapologetic "it's just basketball, man" -- that is, that there's far more to life than 48 minutes of pick and rolls -- to call home.  The Phoenix program was never just about basketball.  Rather, there was something subtly holistic about the Suns franchise; not only would playing there revitalize your stats, but it would also revitalize your body, mind and soul.  The Suns training staff doesn't just tape ankles and prepare ice baths.  It also changes body shapes through diet changes, increases muscle and memory through yoga and meditation, and provides players with a front office that clearly works in their best interests.  Players who spend time in Phoenix all gush about the camraderie of the team, and the time everyone spends together.  For a highly social guy like B-Easy, who seems to play basketball for social reasons as much as financial ones, this will be a welcoming environment.

The third thing that Tim Thomas could teach B-Easy -- and this may be the most important in both the short and long term -- is that when nothing is expected of you, the best thing to be is yourself, and let the pieces fall into whatever places they're intended to rest.  Thomas arrived in Phoenix as a castaway; a guy who lasted three regular season games before getting waived by the Bulls, and who had to sit on his butt for four months before someone gave him a chance.  He responded by turning his strengths into valuable, tangible assets; skills that could win games in the present, and determine a payday in the future.   And he succeeded.  The Suns went deep into the playoffs because he did what he knew he could do best: score, stretch the floor, start the break, and provide a fourth or fifth trailer option when a fast break fell apart.  And his efforts paid off.  True, he did not remain with the Suns, but he maximized his earnings, given the relatively hopeless state his career was in when he arrived in Phoenix.  He did everything he was supposed to do, and it paid off.


Beasley is not in as desperate of a situation.  He's young -- only 24 years old -- and he just got paid.  But little is expected of this Phoenix team, which is just starting its journey out of the Nash era into some sort of strange beyond.  This is a period of talent evaluation, where assets are judged, and either added permanently to the program, or sent elsewhere.

If SSOL remains the mantra by which the Suns live or die (and it shows no sign of being abandoned soon), Beasley stands a chance to be one of its newest success stories.  He will be the most talented, multi-faceted scorer on the team, flanked by equally dynamic offensive forces in Marcin Gortat, Luis Scola and Goran Dragic.  He will not have to come off the bench, and instead will be told to do one thing: shoot, early and often.  And get back on D.


Before he left Minnesota for Phoenix, Michael Beasley said that his offseason workout routine would be grueling. "Shoot a zillion jump shots a day.  Dribble a million minutes a day.  Just work on being an all-around player, from rebounding to defending to blocking shots to stealing basketballs to scoring to playmaking.  Just being an all-around great player."

This is a good goal.  And this is exactly the player -- a multi-faceted offensive force that can dribble, shoot, pass, and get offensive boards -- that will help the Suns stay afloat this season.

And frankly, he should be working on this anyways.  It's time to get started.


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Time to Get Started Edition.

Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Time to Get Started Edition.

In light of debuting Time to Get Started, today we're talking expectations.

Who is your favorite "failed to live up to expectations" player?


Franklin Mieuli: Ike Diogu. In small sample sizes this guy was great, snagging offensive rebounds and playing a decidedly effective under the basket offensive game. He was only the number 9 pick out of Arizona State, not a traditional basketball powerhouse, so it's not like he was expected to set the world on fire, but his inability to figure out how to defender quicker, taller 4's killed him.

Jacob Greenberg: Larry Hughes. The Warriors traded for him in 2000, and for awhile, he was marketed as the future face of the franchise. And for good reason, too; he was a high draft pick who was thought of as AI's potential running mate in Philly, but like most potential running mates for AI, didn't work out. The Warriors seemed like a perfect place to blossom. But developing young players in Golden State is like planting flowers in concrete. Sure, Hughes put up solid numbers, had an All-Star year in Washington, and set himself apart as an elite defender for a couple of years. He was even thought of as a major free agent coup when he left the Wizards for the Cavs. But injuries, questionable attitude, and really, just a bevy of swingmen who could do what he did, better, and less injured, hastened his departure from the league.

Kenji Spielman: The Stache, Adam Morrison. (Favorite to enjoy that they are somewhat in the league, not that they were really any good at basketball and the entirety of their expectations seem to have been based upon their whiteness)

Andrew Snyder: Well after the Celtics signed Darko maybe I should change my mind, but for now I'm going to have to go with Wes Johnson. I have never seen a top 5 pick with less confidence in himself, and while I hope a change of scenery does him well... KKKAAAAHHHNNNNN!

Which player that has failed to live up to expectations do you think will make a breakthrough this year?


Franklin Mieuli: Evan Turner. He should good plenty of run at either shooting guard (Jason Richardson) or small forward (Thaddeus Young) with Andre Igoudala gone, and he has a legitimate center to protect from any defensive lapses. He may not live up to his number 2 pick draft status, but I think he'll have a good year.

Jacob Greenberg: I'm feeling good about Tyreke Evans, even if he's not with the Kings. When he won Rookie of the Year in 2010, he did so by portraying himself as a mini-LeBron, and became the first rookie since LeBron to average 20, 5 and 5. His next two seasons saw his numbers decline as he spent time at three different positions (and with two completely different coaching staffs) to the point where we're wondering if he's something of a bust. News flash: anyone who's averaging 17, 5 and 4 in a "bad year" is not a bust. This season, he's got a clearly defined role as the Kings starting small forward, and will be asked to do what he does best: score from the perimeter and get to the line. The Kings may not be great this year, but they will be improved, and Reke could be a major reason why. If they blow it up (and considering the shoestring budget Geoff Petrie's on, this is not terribly likely), Reke will find a home elsewhere.

Kenji Spielman: Push. Have to do a little more research to find someone who fulfills criteria from the last question. OK. How about O.J. Mayo? Actually decent, probably going to put up good numbers with Dallas. The "breakthrough" will be that he gets more press attention and plays with good players around him.

Andrew Snyder: Michael Beasley + SSOL = guaranteed success.

Which player that has failed to live up to expectations have you given up on ever succeeding?


Franklin Mieuli: Andrea Bargnani. How does a dude that stands 7 feet tall snag less than 6 rebounds a game and only half a block a game? Sure he takes a bunch of threes, but last year it was only 3.7 a game out of 15.6 shots. Compare that with, say, Ryan Anderson, who shot 12.4 times a game, 6.9 of them being threes, yet still managed to snag 7.7 rebounds a game playing most of the season next to the Rebound Machine that is Dwight Howard. Oh yeah, and Bargnani is terrible on defense.

Jacob Greenberg: I don't have to care about Brandan Wright anymore, and I don't. He can be amazing in limited minutes, but his body seems to fall apart if he's tasked with playing over 20 minutes per game. There's no reason the starting center spot in Dallas shouldn't be his, considering his competition is older, slower and less athletic than him. But I've largely given up on B-Wright showing me why he was worth trading the closest thing the Warriors had to a franchise player way back on Draft Day in 2007.

Kenji Spielman: Marvin Williams. Hmm. This may be too late. OK. Jimmer. Yeah. Jimmer.

Andrew Snyder: Just kidding about Beasley. I don't think he's ever going to "figure it out," simply because he's already too good, but apparently lacking the drive to get to an entirely subjective "next level." When Kevin Garnett retires, he should really start a summer camp for guys like Beas, Andray Blatche, Brandan Wright etc and break them down, build them up, and turn it into the Hard Knocks of the NBA offseason. A man can dream, right?

When a player finally "gets it", what happens?


Franklin Mieuli: No clue. If we knew the answer to this question, we would probably know why they don't get it, and be able to correct the problem.

Jacob Greenberg: I really think it's based on professional fit. Many of us can remember getting our first "grown up job" and having many behaviors that most thought to be "immature" fade into the background as we tried to convince our employers and colleagues that we were a worthy investment. I think a player "gets it" when they feel supported in their jobs, and can rely on their career to not only provide money, but also a safe space to get away from personal issues that can be distracting.

Kenji Spielman: Nine times out of ten a player "gets it" by having better teammates and more touches. Case in point: LaMarcus Aldridge. His per minute/per possession stats haven't changed that much from his early years, but now he is considered amazing. Don't get me wrong, his game is great to watch, but how much of that was related to getting easy lobs from Andre Miller and lots more touches because Roy was out?

Andrew Snyder: Confidence. Swag. Getting buckets. For me, I watched Avery Bradley "get it" for the Celtics and figure out exactly the role he needed to fill on the team, and proceed to execute it perfectly until shoulder injuries knocked him out just in time to not shut down Dwyane Wade in the ECF. I'd define getting it that way - figuring out how to consistently fill a role and excel in it.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Time to Get Started: An Introduction.

Time to Get Started: An Introduction.

While doing some blog brainstorming the other day, Franklin (who, mercifully, will be losing his penname sometime in the very near future) and I realized that we never came up with a concrete definition of what constitutes a "Diss player".

You see, there is a certain pressure to carve an analytical niche for yourself if you are attempting to write about basketball on the internet.  There are many armchair basketball "experts" out there, and if you want to be included in their ranks, you need to find a way to talk about the game and produce analyses that will eventually set you apart from the rest of the herd.  The best blogs have done so by either using two separate but equally important (and intrinsically intertwined) methodologies: statistical analysis or discourse analysis.  Some great blogs do both, but by and large, the blogs (and bloggers) who have set themselves above the rest have used some sort of analytical talent to generate excellent content and provide different ways of looking at the game, and the players who play the game.


For example, a brilliant blog that has used statistical analysis to separate itself from others is the Wages of Wins Journal.  The Journal, founded and edited by economist/author Dave Berri and former Mavs' stats analyst Wayne Winston, has put invaluable work into assessing which statistics are most important when it comes to winning basketball games, and which players are the best at providing those valuable assets for winning ball clubs.  Statistics such as wins produced, win share, and adjusted plus/minus have illuminated the usefulness of a number of different skill-sets, and have glorified the efforts of players who heretofore were seen as little else members of a supporting cast.  Shane Battier's rise to prominence, at least in the world of analysis, is largely due to Dave Berri and The Wages of Wins.  And while they've doled out respect to the standard cast of All-Stars, they've also shown us why Landry Fields, Ronnie Brewer and Chuck Hayes deserve our praise as well.  I would argue that a Wages of Wins Player is a player who produces things that help teams win games (and more often than not, those things tend to be rebounds).

An equally brilliant blog -- and one that has gotten love from us before -- is the now-defunct FreeDarko. As Franklin asserted in his review of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History, FreeDarko focused on players whose careers told a good story, and who, through their play on the court, and their actions off the court, crafted a particular relationship between themselves and their fans.  Crafting an "emotional connection" with the game was of the utmost importance, and it seemed to help if the player's stylistic skillset made them valuable warriors in the positional revolution, a term coined by Bethlehem Shoals which referred to players who eschewed the traditional boundaries of positionality and did things on the court that made them unique, awe-inspiring, and above all, entertaining.  So while FreeDarko (who did their old fans a solid and released FreeDarko Player Rankings on Shoals' latest project, The Classical) loves stars like Rajon Rondo, Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, they also lust over guys like Ty Lawson, JaVale McGee and Paul George.  FreeDarko found brilliance in Gerald Green, Gilbert Arenas and Rashad McCants -- players whose skills disturbed traditionalists but delighted fans across the board.

With these towering monoliths of homegrown basketball analysis in mind, it seemed incumbent upon us, as small fish in a very big pond, to attempt to create an archetype that would define what a "Diss player" is.  Moreover, it seemed necessary that such a creation represent an "original" contribution to the larger field of basketball analysis, and would differ from the players preferred by other blogs.  Now, Voltaire was correct when he said that, "originality is but judicious imitation, and that "the most original writers borrowed one from another."  As such, it was inevitable that many of the criteria that defined favorite players of the blogs we admire will naturally be ours as well.  Our task, then, was to attempt to explain what exactly we liked about the players we liked, why we seemed to like it.  Additionally, it seemed important to tie statistical analysis into such a definition, in an attempt to provide a fuller picture into what makes a Diss player a Diss player in the first place.

A "Diss player", of course, is different from a "Diss guy".  Diss guys don't have to be current players, and if they are, it is not mandatory that we enjoy their style of play. In fact, Diss guys, by and large, have been defined by what they do off the court, rather than what they produce on the stat sheet, or on television.  Diss guys are simply meant to be celebrated for the things they do as basketball players and human-beings.  There is a certain glory in being a Diss guy, but it isn't permanent, and certainly not a defining trait.


Instead, a "Diss player", in its ideal form, refers to someone or something that apparently is a bit more complicated than a Diss guy (hence our inability to define it).  A Diss player can be analyzed broadly, but in fact, is beloved (and investigated) because he represents more esoteric, specific parts of the game that don't always appear on the stat sheet, or in articles describing what the player brings do his team or the league.  Diss players do not necessarily have to be "good" -- that is, they do not have to necessarily affect the game in a positive way, or really have a skill-set that dazzles the fans, or makes them feel emotional about anything in particular.  Their contributions don't have to come on the court, and they don't have to be lauded for efficiency, professionalism, candor, or any of the things that normal talking heads judge quality pros judge their players by.  None of these things are held in especially high regard.

Instead, I would argue that most important trait of a Diss player is that they are outspoken in some aspect of their professional or personal life. This does not necessarily have to be on the court, nor does it have to be to the media.  Instead, this "outspoken" quality must present itself in some way that distinguishes himself from the rest of his peers. The Diss has organically developed a distrust towards "quiet consistency" -- that is, players and organizations that do things too professionally, and simply become the sum of their stats.  We appreciate unapologetic performances of individuality; nay, we demand it from the players who we enjoy watching.  So in that vein, it seems necessary that a Diss player portrays himself -- both to his teammates, his fans, and the larger viewing audience who may or may not give a shit -- as a living, breathing human being. They are in many ways the anti-FreeDarko player, who are often compared to Greek gods or inanimate objects in their analysis.  Instead, a Diss player oftentimes seems too human: their shortcomings and failings as professionals, as well as their mistakes and quirks as a human, make them more relatable, and in many cases, more beloved.  And in the end, this, really, is how we like them best.


So for example, LeBron James, for all his faults, is clearly a Diss player.  His outspoken-ness takes many forms, most of it positive.  He is outspoken in his brilliance as one of the best players in the game, and is unafraid to use the full bevy of his talents to enable his team to win.  He has remained confident about his decision to leave his home state and the team that drafted him to join his friends and pursue excellence in Miami, and has altered his personality to become a better teammate, and in turn, a winner.  We saw his game mature as well -- gone were the lower percentage jump shots, replaced instead by trips to the post (according to Synergy sports, 120 times over), and free throw attempts.  And for the first time in recent memory, we saw LeBron publicly concerned about issues beyond his brand, such as the murder of Trayvon Martin.  This unapologetic performance clearly cemented LeBron as a Diss player.


But then again, Andris Biedrins, who is LeBron James' opposite in nearly every single way, is a Diss player as well.  If you go by Wins Produced, LeBron James is the most valuable player in league.  Andris Biedrins is among the league's worst.  No one's PER has taken as big of a drop as Andris Biedrins over the last three seasons, and he's increasingly found his name besmirched due to sexual and financial transgressions.  Yet, it is his failure to launch that makes him so beloved, in a strange, esoteric way.  One can't help but pity someone who can't seem to catch a break, or who has clearly been affected by some sort of mental trauma that affects their professional life.  Biedrins clearly isn't lazy (though given his proclivity towards missing games, one wonders about his conditioning), but something has happened that changed him, as a professional basketball player, forever.  It is that precipitous fall, and the unknown of what's to come, that makes him a Diss player, and one we are happy to give our attention and generate analysis.

Perhaps the best way to point out who are Diss players is to focus on players who have the skillset that we, as Diss-cussants, look for, but for whatever reason, have not found the professional or personal inspiration to put them all together.  This doesn't necessarily mean the player is a bust -- far from it -- but it does mean that the player could become more Diss-friendly, and enter the pantheon of Diss players (as it is an honor bestowed to so very few), if they became outspoken in some aspect of their game, or life.  If that's unapologetic scoring, great.  If that's untapped potential, fine.  If it's steady contributions, and a staunch, outspoken unwillingness to be anything but themselves, right on.  But now is the time to show us.


We implore these players to get started for two reasons.  The first is that, simply put, it's time to get started.  According to statistics from the RAM financial group, the average NBA career lasts about five seasons.  The NBA is a highly competitive field, and it takes a lot of hard work and luck to distinguish yourself above others.  It's important to not waste too many years figuring it out.  Secondly, by finally becoming what we want them, as fans, to be, we can get a better understanding about what statistically and intrinsically constitutes a Diss player, and do a better job cataloging their existences here on the blog.

Selfish?  Perhaps.  But only by understanding them can we better understand ourselves.  And there's no shame in being a Diss player.


Monday, September 24, 2012

Monday Media: A Journey Through My Shameful Past

Monday Media: A Journey Through My Shameful Past

For the most part, I've always been pretty secure. I know who I am, for the most part I like who I am, and I don't worry too much about what others think of me. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, even during awkward adolescence (read: middle school). I only have a couple of memories about not being "cool" enough.

The most distinct of these is centered upon basketball shoes. In 6th grade, anybody that was cool had either a pair of Reebok Answers or Paytons. Outside of Air Jordans (are they even called that? are they just Jordans?) and Starburys, those are still the only two basketball shoes I can recognize on sight, and man did I want them. Nevermind that my basketball playing career started and ended in a YMCA gym a few years before, or the ridiculous way in which kids would take rolled up pairs of socks and stuff them inbetewen the foot and the tongue of the shoe. I hadn't ever felt, and haven't since, such feelings of inadequacy from not owning a product. I remember the jealously I felt when I saw Jeff Kobernus chasing Brad Amaral (I think the divergence in their respective lives is interesting) around after-school one day in his brand new Paytons. Jeff yelled out for Brad to stop, sat down, took an old pair of Paytons out of his backpack and put them on, and resumed chasing Brad. My mom wouldn't spend more than about $50 on a pair of shoes for me, let alone two pairs.

All of this to say that I know sneaker culture exists and at one point I would've given my left arm for a pair of shoes, but I am certainly not a part of this culture. Like any niche activity (and collecting shoes isn't very niche), there is a part of the internet dedicated to it, in this case Kix And The City, an "online magazine dedicated to sneaker culture". Because, you see, Sneakerheads are just like the rest of us, using the internet to get obscene details about a product before searching for that shady-looking website where you can get it for $4 less than Amazon. Hell, I'm surprised sneakers.woot.com doesn't exist yet.

Not being apart of sneaker culture, or even fully understand it, I'm going to do what humans have been doing for centuries: make fun of something I don't really understand! The video below is hilarious. Never have I felt like my vocabulary was so inadequate as listening to this dude describe a shoe. Why is there an eleven minute shoe review video where we don't even see the shoes for 4 minutes? What the fuck is flywire, and why does this dude known exactly when Nike introduced it? if the "full-length zoom air visible air unit" is a first, what was the inferior technology we had previously? a partial-length zoom air visible air unit? How does Nike+ track my fuel, and what is my fuel?

I just can't get enough of this video. I'm also continually impressed by Nike's marketing, and how they basically have an entire culture based around coveting their products. Well done Nike marketing.

Monday Media: A Journey Through My Shameful Past

Monday Media: A Journey Through My Shameful Past

For the most part, I've always been pretty secure. I know who I am, for the most part I like who I am, and I don't worry too much about what others think of me. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, even during awkward adolescence (read: middle school). I only have a couple of memories about not being "cool" enough.

The most distinct of these is centered upon basketball shoes. In 6th grade, anybody that was cool had either a pair of Reebok Answers or Paytons. Outside of Air Jordans (are they even called that? are they just Jordans?) and Starburys, those are still the only two basketball shoes I can recognize on sight, and man did I want them. Nevermind that my basketball playing career started and ended in a YMCA gym a few years before, or the ridiculous way in which kids would take rolled up pairs of socks and stuff them inbetewen the foot and the tongue of the shoe. I hadn't ever felt, and haven't since, such feelings of inadequacy from not owning a product. I remember the jealously I felt when I saw Jeff Kobernus chasing Brad Amaral (I think the divergence in their respective lives is interesting) around after-school one day in his brand new Paytons. Jeff yelled out for Brad to stop, sat down, took an old pair of Paytons out of his backpack and put them on, and resumed chasing Brad. My mom wouldn't spend more than about $50 on a pair of shoes for me, let alone too.

All of this to say that I know sneaker culture exists and at one point I would've given my left arm for a pair of shoes, but I am certainly not a part of this culture. Like any niche activity (and collecting shoes isn't very niche), there is a part of the internet dedicated to it, in this case Kix And The City, an "online magazine dedicated to sneaker culture". Because, you see, Sneakerheads are just like the rest of us, using the internet to get obscene details about a product before searching for that shady-looking website where you can get it for $4 less than Amazon. Hell, I'm surprised sneakers.woot.com doesn't exist yet.

Not being apart of sneaker culture, or even fully understand it, I'm going to do what humans have been doing for centuries: make fun of something I don't really understand! The video below is hilarious. Never have I felt like my vocabulary was so inadequate as listening to this dude describe a shoe. Why is there an eleven minute shoe review video where we don't even see the shoes for 4 minutes? What the fuck is flywire, and why does this dude known exactly when Nike introduced it? if the "full-length zoom air visible air unit" is a first, what was the inferior technology we had previously? a partial-length zoom air visible air unit? How does Nike+ track my fuel, and what is my fuel?

I just can't get enough of this video. I'm also continually impressed by Nike's marketing, and how they basically have an entire culture based around coveting their products. Well done Nike marketing.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Your Annotated Smartphone Bathroom Reader for Sunday, September 23, 2012.

Your Annotated Smartphone Bathroom Reader for Sunday, September 23, 2012.

No one at The Diss is really in love with J.R. Smith (yet), but this edition of the Reader belongs to him.

J.R. Smith Thinks He's a Bargain, is Kind of Right, but Also Might Not Know What a Bargain IsDan DevineBall Don't Lie
It's a really long title, so it must be a Ball Don't Lie post.  In this piece, Dan Devine looks into a recent quote from Knicks shooting guard J.R. Smith where he claims the Knicks are getting a bargain because he works hard, whether he's playing for "one dollar" or "$20 million dollars".  Devine skillfully agrees and disagrees, and uses some nifty advanced stats to prove his argument.  While Smith is a bargain if you believe in Win Shares, a stat that assess a player's individual contribution to a winning effort, and divides total paid salary by the number of available wins in a given season, he is not a bargain if you go by his defnition of a bargain, which doesn't account for salary.  Indeed, it makes a difference whether a player is being paid a dollar or twenty million of them.  A bit nitpicky, but good weaving of advanced stats and writing by Mr. Devine.

- JG
Fear of a White Planet, or The Whiteness of the WolvesBenjamin PolkA Wolf Among Wolves
Author Benjamin Polk says it best: "almost nobody has failed to notice and remark upon the Wolves unconventional racial make-up" this coming season.  He's right; it's somewhat unique that of the twelve players slated to get meaningful time on the 2012-2013 Timberwolves, nine of them are white.  He's also correct that this, for some reason, is a big deal, but we're not really sure why.  Polk asserts that the reasons people (meaning: Wolves fans, which I would consider myself to be a liberated member) are self-conscious about the whitewashed Wolves are two-fold.  Firstly, we, as purveyors of the sport, have not come up with a unified definition of what a "White" player actually is in the modern NBA.  Secondly, because NBA teams have become a "locus of black expression", it is discomforting that this NBA team, at least for this year, will not be one.  As such, there are persisting feelings of anxiety and angst regarding a team that fails to fit neatly into what we conceive as "white" -- indeed, there are elite white scorers (Love) defenders (Kirilenko) and dunkers (Budinger) on the team -- as well as what "not black" in today's NBA.  Polk does a good job looking back into American history, and identifying groups that were not always considered to be white (Slavs, Jews, etc), to show how this confounds us, and our stereotypes, today.  This is one of the smartest articles written this year, and a must-read for those who are interested in the way race and our "cultural imaginations" work to categorize players and styles in the modern NBA.

- JGMaybe David Stern Isn't That Bad After AllTom ZillerSBNation
A year ago, Tom Ziller (like just everyone else) was spewing vitriol at David Stern, who at the time, was doing the owners' bidding and locking out players (and team and arena employees) until a new collective bargaining agreement was reached between the league and the player's union.  But in September 2012, with the NFL referee lockout showing no sign of resolution, and the NHL staring down another lost season, Ziller is beginning to wonder if The Commish is so bad after all.  Ziller asserts that the chief difference between Stern and Roger Goodell and Gary Bettman (his counterparts in the NFL and the NHL, respectively) is that while Stern acts like he doesn't care about the players and fans, but actually does, Bettman and Goodell actually don't care at all.  He may have a point, considering the Bettman seems ready to lose another full season in order to bust the NHLPA, and Goodell is perfectly willing to use replacement refs for the long haul in order to save some money.  Ziller is correct: for all of his shortcomings, Stern has done his best to do damage control in the face of labor stoppages, and get everyone back to work as soon as possible.  We'll see if this general feeling of goodwill persists into next season.

- JG
The Miseducation of J.R. SmithJonathan AbramsGrantland
A few years ago, while sitting in an auto body shop waiting for my car to get repaired, I read in a Sports Illustrated article that the player other NBA players would pay to see play was J.R. Smith, who at the time, was coming off the bench for the Denver Nuggets.  That struck me, since, at the time, I hadn't really heard of J.R. Smith.  Since then, he's become a cause celebre for journalists and bloggers to rally behind when crafting retrospectives about the "Prep to Pro" era that produced more Robert Swifts and Qyntel Woods than it did Kobe Bryants and Kevin Garnetts.  The general consensus is that J.R. Smith has all the potential to be an All Star-type player, but has not reached this said potential.  The question is: why?  Jonathan Abrams investigates this question, and attacks the enigma that is Earl "J.R." Smith III from multiple angles.  Using perspectives from a number of people who have worked directly with Smith, including his father, a number of his high school and professional coaches, and J.R. himself, we are given a narrative of Smith that explores his carefree, frustrating personality traits, while at the same time, assesses how his gifts have been used, and how effective they have been over his career.  This is an excellent biopic into one of the league's most compelling players.

- JG More Lockouts as Companies Battle UnionsSteven GreenhouseThe New York Times

Is it possible that smaller businesses and corporations are learning new union-busting tricks from professional sports leagues?  Steven Greenhouse argues that they are, and reports extensively about a management practice that, once unheard of, has now become a popular tool to gain an advantage at the bargaining table, and marginalize the power of worker's unions.  According to Bloomberg BNA, lockouts have provided a record number of labor stoppages, with 17 employers (and perhaps more) who locked out their regular employees and told them not show up at work until they agreed to concessions at the bargaining table.  Strikes, meanwhile, are falling out of practice as a labor practice, due to declining memberships in unions, and fear of lost positions and wages to replacement workers if regular workers walk out on their jobs.  With unions facing serious challenges to their organizing and bargaining power, it will be interest to see if lockouts become a widespread union-busting technique from employers who want to wrest more bargaining power from workers.

- JG

Friday, September 21, 2012

Diss Guy Miss Guy, Volume 11

Diss Guy Miss Guy, Volume 11

Diss Guy: Derrick Rose


We're awash in a new era of basketball where all of the players have known eachother since they were 14, force trades to particular teams to play with their friends, and dance around together. But not Derrick Rose. Like another member of the 2008 draft class, Russell Westbrook, Rose seems to be cut from a different cloth. Whether he is icily standing while everybody around him is dancing, or looking supremely uncomfortable throughout the listing of his accomplishments at a marketing event, Derrick Rose has always been different.

Derrick Rose has always been this way. In high school he chose his jersey number to honor a former player at his high school murdered by a gang in 1988, four years before Rose was even born. And so when Rose is at home in Chicago during the offseason, and sees his city falling apart around him, like his fellow Chicagoan Lupe Fiasco, it affects him deeply.

For a hot second I thought of designating Rose the Miss Guy because, c'mon, he cried at a marketing event. And if this were LeBron James, or Kevin Durant, or practically any other player, I probably would've. But not Derrick Rose.

Miss Guy: Channing Frye

This is a little different than our usual Miss Guy of the week. Frye hasn't done anything hilarious, stupid, or even hilariously stupid: dude has an enlarged heart. Like Jeff Green last year (though he had an aortic aneurysm, a different condition) we aren't likely to see Frye in uniform this year.

I've liked Frye since his University of Arizona days, when he was on a series of entertaining teams that seemed like the perfect blend of Larry Brown "play the right way" and early 1990's UNLV Runnin' Rebels. It has been fun to watch him embrace the fact that he is a 6'11" dude that is most comfortable sitting in the corner hoisting up threesâ€"I really wish we could've seen him on one of the good versions of the SSOL Suns.

So Channing Frye, you are this week's Miss Guy of the week because I'm going to miss you this season. Get well soon.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Minimalism: Not Just a Word Your Art History Friends Use

Minimalism: Not Just a Word Your Art History Friends Use


Apple generates hype like no other company. There are many websites that pay salaries to writers solely to track down rumors about Apple’s upcoming products. There is a market for rumors a day before the damn product will be announced! I bring this up because it seems that NBA marketing teams are taking cues from Apple. The biggest fervor surrounds the uniforms of the newly minted Brooklyn Nets. We have supposed leaks from video games, leaks from figurines, and leaks from “insider” Twitter accounts.

Now, there isn’t nearly the demand for uniform news for there to exist independent outlets covering it (Paul Lukas be damned), so instead NBA marketing teams are creating it as best they can. The Phoenix Suns have been slowly leaking images of their new court on Twitter (maybe I’m just naive, but who cares what the court looks like?) and the Knicks sent Amar’e Stoudemire to a talk show to unveil their new duds. Perhaps this uniform thing is turning into a big business.
Apple’s embargo and media strategy isn’t the only trend that NBA teams are following. All of Apple’s products are exquisitely designed, without a superfluous part. While design is not as applicable to jerseys, which serve a singular purpose, NBA teams have been following Apple's lead in designing minimalist products. Paul Lukas touched upon minimalism in the designs of the new Spurs and Nets jerseys, but the trend runs much deeper than that. One only needs to look at the jerseys of the Bobcats, Knicks, and Suns, and I bet as more jerseys are leaked we will see other teams embracing it.
The reaction to these jerseys hasn’t been uniformly positive, but everybody seems to be glad that teams are moving further and further away from some of the monstrosities of the late 1990s/early 2000s. Before fans breathe a sigh of relief, I would take a moment to check out the history of the evolution of uniforms, because this isn’t the first time minimalism has been in vogue; many of this year’s uniforms seem like they are paying homage to the mid-1980s/early-1990s jerseys.
Detroit Pistons



Golden State Warriors



The sequences of images above show why I would hesitate to say that uniform designers have embraced minimalism because of its own merits, and instead argue that it is simply a reaction to the uniforms that came before. I mean, while I think we would all acknowledge that the Nuggets uniforms in the 1980s were downright amazing, it is no surprise that the uniform that followed was pretty boring.

For insight into the future, go look at college uniforms, where Oregon has long embraced the wacky.  Lest you think this is only a football thing, the Cincinnati Bearcats vehemently disagree. Given the history of uniforms, I would think that in about five years Nike, Reebook, Adidas, or whoever is supplying NBA uniforms in 2017 will hire a new designer who throws around words like "bold" and "cutting edge". This designer will decide that two-tone jerseys with a city name are boring, and what the NBA needs is just a little bit of color. Maybe he grew up in Toronto in the mid-1990s and has a fetish for cartoons mixed with purple, pinstripes and godawful font. Either way, whether you think uniform minimalism is boring or the high-water mark of design, don't expect it to stick around.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Let's Play Some Damn Basketball Edition.

Wild Speculation and Outlandish Guesses: Let's Play Some Damn Basketball Edition.

Jeremy Lin reentered the news this week when he asked to sleep on new teammate Chandler Parson's couch. That's the only excuse we need to talk about him! How will he fare in Houston?


John Reyes Nguyen: Jeremy Lin is better off in Houston than in New York. As a Knick, the fans will want Linsanity all the time and that's just not going to happen. He's a good point guard but he's not a player who can turn around a franchise, which is what the Knicks need. I think he will be fine in Houston, probably averaging 13pts, 8ast, 3turnovers per game. Unfortunately, Houston's gonna be really terrible for a while so that will hurt his stock too.

Jacob Greenberg: I think he'll put up nice numbers (around 20 and 8?), but Houston will be nowhere near the playoffs. He also stands a decent shot of getting voted into the All-Star Game as a starter by the fans.

Andrew Snyder: Hopefully, Lin will average 20-7-12, carry the Rockets to the #1 record in the Western conference, and proceeds to break internet basketball culture as we know it.

Franklin Mieuli: Depending upon how you feel about Kevin Martin and Omer Asik, Jeremy Lin might just be the Rockets best player. His usage rate will be very high, meaning he will get a bunch of assists, but also a bunch of turnovers. He rose to prominence while Melo was out and his usage rate was off the charts. Therefore, I think that while Lin's advanced stats will show him to be having a decent year, he's going to average something like 20 points, 5 rebounds, 7 assists and 5 turnovers a game.

After not receiving any contract offers, Brian Scalabrine turned down an offer to coach the Bulls in order to do media work with the Celtics. What are your thoughts on the end of White Mamba's playing career?


John Reyes Nguyen: It's about time. Too many guys making a living in the NBA by being a "Locker Room Guy" and the first person off the bench to high five the players.

Jacob Greenberg: When you earn over $20 million over your career, you must be doing something right. I like him as a broadcaster and think he'll probably get picked up by one of the national affiliates in the near future. We haven't seen the last of White Mamba.

Andrew Snyder: This roundtable is right in my wheelhouse! Scal was a Celtics legend, and having heard him as a guest commentator before, I'm pretty sure he's going to be great in his new role -- who knows, he could slowly morph into the next Tommy Heinsohn! Maybe they'll settle down together, film a reality show, and then Tommy can finally have another "redhead in Needham."

Franklin Mieuli: I just don't get it. I don't get the internet's fawning love of Scalabrine. I mean, did he really ride middling basketball skill and red hair that far? I don't find him that interesting, and I just don't really care.

The New York Knicks offered their D-League head coaching job up to Patrick Ewing, which insulted the big man. Does he have cause to be upset?


John Reyes Nguyen: Do the Knicks really owe him anything? It's not like their head coaching position is available, at least not right now. And the head coach determines who's on his staff. Seems like they tried to bring him back to the organization the only way they can by offering him the D-League position. He's not done paying his dues.

Jacob Greenberg: I mean, he has been an assistant coach for several years now. But plenty of assistant coaches never get head coaching jobs, or have to wait a long, long time before they get a crack at it. Tom Thibodeau was an assistant for 23 years before he got a head coaching gig. I think Patrick feels like he's entitled a job because he's an all-time great player, and did good work with Yao Ming and Dwight Howard. If he really cares, he'll keep working, and something will come up.

Andrew Snyder: I think Ewing definitely has the right to be upset, although without any insider knowledge, I really can't speculate how deserving he is of NBA head coaching jobs and interviews. Maybe this just shows how big of a joke the D-League really is...

Franklin Mieuli: No. His one possible claim to fame is coaching Dwight Howard to stardom, and even that is dubious as Howard's talent was evident (and blossoming) before Ewing came along, and because somehow after 5 years of coaching by Ewing, Howard still doesn't have that good of a post game. Ewing needs to shut up and take this opportunity.

Rumor has it Bill Simmons and Stan Van Gundy will be joining ESPN's studio show this year. Thoughts?


John Reyes Nguyen: If Bills Simmons talks as much as he writes, it'll be a disaster. Sounds interesting, but Jeff Van Gundy is better.

Jacob Greenberg: I'd prefer if they called games, but sounds good to me.

Andrew Snyder: Oh baby. As a Simmons reader since before you were (Child of Boston... what's up Page2!?), at least I think I've got all the credibility you could ever need to answer this question. I've slowly listened to Simmons transform from a B.S. Report train wreck into a solid pod-host. Is that a word? However, he's has been wildly inconsistent on TV, killing it on occasion as a PTI fill in, but also sounding awkward in the NBA booth doing something he has no business doing - color commentary. Ultimately, the role of a studio host is somewhere in between those two, and I'm interested to see where this goes. Simmons could be great, or he could be a trainwreck who can't stop talking about the Celtics, or bringing up self serving concepts only he cares about (the pyramid?) from page 273 of The Book of Basketball. On the other hand, Stan Van Gundy has been there done this - he'll kill it.

Franklin Mieuli: Very excited to watch Stan Van Gundy to commentate, as that guy has no problem saying what he thinks. As far as Simmons, I've been underwhelmed by his podcasts and TV appearances, so I'm not expecting much.