Saturday, April 26, 2008

Setting Of The Suns

Steve Kerr is gonna get roasted for the pending Suns collapse. Even though Shawn Marion was gonna leave anyway. Even though Steve Nash looks positively geriatric chasing Tony Parker around. Even though Shaq seems to get fatter by the minute. With all these factors at work, Kerr will still shoulder all of the blame. Why? Because he made The Trade. D'Antoni might be the goat, the guy who gets the hatchet, but not the blame.

Is it deserved? Actually, no. No team is owed a championship. Just because a team spends money, wins a lot of games, sells out their arena, they're not SUPPOSED to win a title. There's only one ring per season and we've certainly witnessed our share of amazing teams to never win one. Stockton/Malone's Utah squads are probably the best example. Clyde's Blazer teams of the 90s. Kemp/GP's Sonics. I think Phoenix is about to be lumped into this dubious category: Most Impressive Also-Ran.

I give Kerr credit for realizing that the window was closing and that it would take more than last year's team to get it done. He made the move for Shaq and rolled the dice. That took a lot of balls. But unless The Suns pulls off an historic Red Sox-like resurgence and win four straight(they won't), this experiment is officially a failure and Kerr's the one with egg on his face.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Is Duncan A Pussy?

Big Ben was up for the weekend to help me celebrate my 40th bday. We spent a lot of time watching basketball (and drinking and smoking). Good times.

Big Ben and I tend to agree on most things hoops-related. We each think the '84 Lakers would beat the '97 Bulls. We each concur that Jordan, Magic and Bird belong on the All-Time Team. I think Tim Duncan should be the starting PF.

Big Ben thinks Tim Duncan is a pussy.

He scoffs at the notion of Duncan in the starting five, putting him well behind Malone, Barkley, Rodman, even Bob McAdoo. Now, I know McAdoo was a prolific scorer but no way is he better than Duncan. No way.

Ben hates the way Duncan whines and complains. He hates the way Duncan refuses to be labeled a center, even though he frequently plays center, so he can get into the Hall as a 4. Mostly Ben hates the way that Duncan has thwarted the Lakers time after time, year after year.

I hate that, too. But Duncan ain't no pussy, except in this photo.

Dirk Nowitzki- kind of a pussy. Keith Van Horn was a total pussy. Not to imply that all pussies are white. Mike Redd's a good example of a black pussy. Eddy Curry's a big, black pussy. Yao's a big Chinese pussy. This is fun. Did I mention that I recently turned 40?

Let The 'REAL SEASON' Begin

OK, so the regular season is behind us and we're two games into what's shaping up as a monstrous playoff run. Looking back at my pre-season predictions, I got some right and some very, very wrong.

Betting on Chris Paul to fail at something is not a mistake I'll ever make again. Paul wasn't supposed to be this good, this quick. I'm a huge Kobe fan but I wouldn't be disappointed if Paul took home the Maurice Podoloff (who the fuck is Maurice Podoloff???) trophy this year for best player in the ol' NBA. The kid is brilliant and he's absolutely destroying Dallas in the first two games of that series.

Avery Johnson needs to come up with some kind of matchup zone to keep CP out of the paint or he's gonna lose that cushy Mavs coaching job. Another first round exit probably means Avery's head. Truth be told, it ain't all The General's fault. That team is comprised of slow, soft, middle-aged jumpshooters. How many old, perimeter-based squads have won titles over the years? Zilch.

Note: This is Maurice Podoloff, btw. His friends called him MoPod.