HOWEVER, in 13 postseason games, he's shooting 30% from the floor, 27% from 3. Yuck.
Showing posts with label Shitbury Curse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shitbury Curse. Show all posts
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Shitbury Curse- Update
Gotta give Shitbury props for his performance in the 4th quarter of Game 5. They don't win that game without him.
HOWEVER, in 13 postseason games, he's shooting 30% from the floor, 27% from 3. Yuck.
HOWEVER, in 13 postseason games, he's shooting 30% from the floor, 27% from 3. Yuck.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Playoff Truth Or Dare
Every game offers more evidence that this year's playoffs are a two team race between Cleveland and LA. The other 13 teams (adios, Detroit) have too many glaring weaknesses to take down either of the Big Two. With that in mind, I'd like to offer up my version of Playoff Truth Or Dare, where I ask the contenders a tough question and challenge them to do something about it. Some of these suggestions pertain to strategy for this year, some are more based on long term solutions.
Boston
Truth: After watching Shitbury put up an abysmal -17 plus/minus in a mere 5 minutes of PT yesterday, can you, Celtics brass, finally admit it was a mistake to sign him?
Dare: Bench his ass for the remainder of the postseason and make do with Eddie House as your backup PG.
Chicago
Truth: Why the fuck are Vinny Del Negro and Del Harris coaching your team? It's like having a caddy that can't tell the difference between a putter and a nine iron.
Dare: Now that you have a star to build around (Derrick Rose), give him a real coach to listen to before he gets all Ricky Davis on your ass.
Atlanta
Truth: Have you noticed that Miami doesn't have a decent center on their roster? No, wise ass, Jamaal Magloire and Joel Anthony do not qualify.
Dare: Instead of jacking up 15-20 3s a game, pound the ball inside to Al Horford. Attack the fucking basket with slashers Smith, Williams and Johnson. Get DWade in foul trouble. Quit being pussies.
Miami
Truth: You're resting your playoff hopes on Jermaine O'Neal staying healthy? Really?
Dare: This offseason, find a big man not named Jamaal Magloire or Joel Anthony.
Utah
Truth: Are you serious about having Paul Millsap replace the almost-certainly departing Carlos Boozer as your PF next year?
Dare: You're not going to win this series against LA, anyway. Start Millsap now and get him some playoff experience so he'll be ready next postseason.
Denver
Truth: Do you honestly believe you can win a ring with a PF (Nene) playing center for you?
Dare: Admit you fucked up and find a way to get Marcus Camby back next year.
Portland
Truth: Do you really think you can win a series playing Steve Blake 30 minutes a game?
Dare: Move Roy to point, play Rudy at 2. AND definitely start thinking about ways to acquire Deron Williams or CP3 this offseason (they both have opt out clauses).
Houston
Truth: Can you admit now that Crazy McLazy actually WAS the reason for all those first round losses?
Dare: Do anything in your power to ensure that he never wears a Rockets uni again.
San Antonio
Truth: Why are you still giving big minutes to Michael Finley and Matt Bonner?
Dare: Take the air out the ball and play half-court, defensive, Spurs basketball. To use the old adage, 'Dance with what brung ya.' Give that PT to Bowen, Udoka, George Hill and Dirty Kurty. Dallas is soft; get physical and give them a chance to prove it.
Dallas
Truth: Do you honestly think you have a title shot just because you're beating the Manu-less Spurs?
Dare: Rebuild this entire roster, Cuban. You'll see in about two weeks (or less) that it doesn't work. Trade Dirk. Trade Kidd. Trade Howard. Start over.
In closing, I should also point out that my predictions for this year's playoffs, particularly the Western Conference, have been pretty horrific so far. I had Portland, New Orleans and San Antonio advancing and two of those three teams are teetering on the brink of extinction. Who knows? Maybe there's a miracle comeback on the horizon. The NBA is where amazing happens, right? I think I just puked in my mouth a little.
Boston
Truth: After watching Shitbury put up an abysmal -17 plus/minus in a mere 5 minutes of PT yesterday, can you, Celtics brass, finally admit it was a mistake to sign him?
Dare: Bench his ass for the remainder of the postseason and make do with Eddie House as your backup PG.
Chicago
Truth: Why the fuck are Vinny Del Negro and Del Harris coaching your team? It's like having a caddy that can't tell the difference between a putter and a nine iron.
Dare: Now that you have a star to build around (Derrick Rose), give him a real coach to listen to before he gets all Ricky Davis on your ass.
Atlanta
Truth: Have you noticed that Miami doesn't have a decent center on their roster? No, wise ass, Jamaal Magloire and Joel Anthony do not qualify.
Dare: Instead of jacking up 15-20 3s a game, pound the ball inside to Al Horford. Attack the fucking basket with slashers Smith, Williams and Johnson. Get DWade in foul trouble. Quit being pussies.
Miami
Truth: You're resting your playoff hopes on Jermaine O'Neal staying healthy? Really?
Dare: This offseason, find a big man not named Jamaal Magloire or Joel Anthony.
Utah
Truth: Are you serious about having Paul Millsap replace the almost-certainly departing Carlos Boozer as your PF next year?
Dare: You're not going to win this series against LA, anyway. Start Millsap now and get him some playoff experience so he'll be ready next postseason.
Denver
Truth: Do you honestly believe you can win a ring with a PF (Nene) playing center for you?
Dare: Admit you fucked up and find a way to get Marcus Camby back next year.
Portland
Truth: Do you really think you can win a series playing Steve Blake 30 minutes a game?
Dare: Move Roy to point, play Rudy at 2. AND definitely start thinking about ways to acquire Deron Williams or CP3 this offseason (they both have opt out clauses).
Houston
Truth: Can you admit now that Crazy McLazy actually WAS the reason for all those first round losses?
Dare: Do anything in your power to ensure that he never wears a Rockets uni again.
San Antonio
Truth: Why are you still giving big minutes to Michael Finley and Matt Bonner?
Dare: Take the air out the ball and play half-court, defensive, Spurs basketball. To use the old adage, 'Dance with what brung ya.' Give that PT to Bowen, Udoka, George Hill and Dirty Kurty. Dallas is soft; get physical and give them a chance to prove it.
Dallas
Truth: Do you honestly think you have a title shot just because you're beating the Manu-less Spurs?
Dare: Rebuild this entire roster, Cuban. You'll see in about two weeks (or less) that it doesn't work. Trade Dirk. Trade Kidd. Trade Howard. Start over.
In closing, I should also point out that my predictions for this year's playoffs, particularly the Western Conference, have been pretty horrific so far. I had Portland, New Orleans and San Antonio advancing and two of those three teams are teetering on the brink of extinction. Who knows? Maybe there's a miracle comeback on the horizon. The NBA is where amazing happens, right? I think I just puked in my mouth a little.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
First Round Predictions
DET-CLE
Detroit lost their heart and soul when they dealt Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson earlier this season. Additionally, Rasheed Wallace has never seemed more apathetic. The Cavs should steamroll Detroit in 5 games and officially end the Michael Curry Era in Motor City.
CHI-BOS
With the news that KG might miss the entire postseason, the first round of the playoffs just got a lot more interesting for Boston. Suddenly, they become a perimeter team that relies on Paul Pierce to do all the heavy lifting on offense AND check John Salmons on D. Since adding Salmons and Brad Miller, the Bulls have settled nicely into their roles. I'm still picking Boston here but it'll be a long, drawn-out series that drains Pierce and Ray Ray for whoever they face next. The champs are wobbly but I don't see 'em getting KO'd by this glass-jaw Chicago team. Celtics in 7.
*UPDATE: Danny Ainge just had a heart attack; the Shitbury Curse continues.
PHI-ORL
I'm not a big fan of the Orlando Magic. Teams that rely too much on spot up shooting rarely win titles. Factor in the recent injuries to Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis and this bunch seems ripe for an upset. Too bad Philly ain't good enough to capitalize. Watching pencil-neck Samuel Dalembert try to check 'roid beast Dwight Howard will be laughable. Orlando in 6.
MIA-ATL
Atlanta's home court advantage will be the deciding factor in a high scoring series featuring some eye-popping performances by Dwyane Wade. Al Horford will dominate inside for the Hawks on both ends. Atlanta in 7.
UTA-LA
In the West, I don't see Utah's feeble defense offering much resistance to the high-octane Lakers attack. LA in 5. Yawn.
NO-DEN
The Hornets will upset the Denver Nuggets in 6 if Tyson Chandler is healthy enough to play. Without him, I'll go with Denver in 7. Even though they added Big Shot Billups, Denver still ain't going very far in the playoffs without a true center. A memo to Kroenke The Donkey: imagine how good your team would be if you didn't give away two-time Defensive Player Of The Year, Marcus Camby.
DAL-SA
Manu Ginobili's out but the Spurs will still handle the toothless Mavericks and their pussified brand of non-contact basketball. San Antonio in 6.
HOU-POR
Probably the most evenly matched of all the first round series. The Rockets can put Artest or Battier on Brandon Roy, forcing other Blazers to beat them. On the flip side, Portland can throw the Vanilla Gorilla and Greg Olden at Yao. So really, it becomes a battle of supporting casts. Look for a big series from the Blazers bench as Portland advances by a hair in 7.
Detroit lost their heart and soul when they dealt Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson earlier this season. Additionally, Rasheed Wallace has never seemed more apathetic. The Cavs should steamroll Detroit in 5 games and officially end the Michael Curry Era in Motor City.
CHI-BOS
With the news that KG might miss the entire postseason, the first round of the playoffs just got a lot more interesting for Boston. Suddenly, they become a perimeter team that relies on Paul Pierce to do all the heavy lifting on offense AND check John Salmons on D. Since adding Salmons and Brad Miller, the Bulls have settled nicely into their roles. I'm still picking Boston here but it'll be a long, drawn-out series that drains Pierce and Ray Ray for whoever they face next. The champs are wobbly but I don't see 'em getting KO'd by this glass-jaw Chicago team. Celtics in 7.
*UPDATE: Danny Ainge just had a heart attack; the Shitbury Curse continues.
PHI-ORL
I'm not a big fan of the Orlando Magic. Teams that rely too much on spot up shooting rarely win titles. Factor in the recent injuries to Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis and this bunch seems ripe for an upset. Too bad Philly ain't good enough to capitalize. Watching pencil-neck Samuel Dalembert try to check 'roid beast Dwight Howard will be laughable. Orlando in 6.
MIA-ATL
Atlanta's home court advantage will be the deciding factor in a high scoring series featuring some eye-popping performances by Dwyane Wade. Al Horford will dominate inside for the Hawks on both ends. Atlanta in 7.
UTA-LA
In the West, I don't see Utah's feeble defense offering much resistance to the high-octane Lakers attack. LA in 5. Yawn.
NO-DEN
The Hornets will upset the Denver Nuggets in 6 if Tyson Chandler is healthy enough to play. Without him, I'll go with Denver in 7. Even though they added Big Shot Billups, Denver still ain't going very far in the playoffs without a true center. A memo to Kroenke The Donkey: imagine how good your team would be if you didn't give away two-time Defensive Player Of The Year, Marcus Camby.
DAL-SA
Manu Ginobili's out but the Spurs will still handle the toothless Mavericks and their pussified brand of non-contact basketball. San Antonio in 6.
HOU-POR
Probably the most evenly matched of all the first round series. The Rockets can put Artest or Battier on Brandon Roy, forcing other Blazers to beat them. On the flip side, Portland can throw the Vanilla Gorilla and Greg Olden at Yao. So really, it becomes a battle of supporting casts. Look for a big series from the Blazers bench as Portland advances by a hair in 7.
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