Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Not OK With Thunder

Scuttlebutt around the internet is that Oklahoma City is leaning toward using Thunder as the new team name of the recently hijacked Seattle Sonics. Apparently, the runners-up are Barons and Outlaws, both of which seem a bit too on-the-nose under the circumstances (although Oklahoma City Outlaws sounds pretty bad-ass).

But why Thunder? That's a name for a horse, not a basketball team.

Having never been to Oklahoma City, I looked it up on Wikipedia and discovered that it's mostly famous for:

A. getting bombed by Timothy McVeigh and...
B. being devastated by tornadoes on a pretty regular basis.

I also learned that the Oklahoma City WOMEN'S football team is called the Lightning (pictured). Given the correlation, can we safely assume that Clay Bennett is a huge fan of women's football? How could he not fall in love with these gorgeous creatures?

The men's Arena football team is called the Yard Dawgz. Kinda lame but at least it sounds tough. Thunder ain't tough. Nobody's afraid of Thunder.

Personally, I'd go with the most violent, aggressive name possible. One-upping the Oakland Raiders as the bad boys of sports, I propose...

The Oklahoma City Murder.

Or how about The Oklahoma City Death?

Still not sold?

'Ladies and gentlemen, let me hear you make some noise for YOUR Oklahoma City Psychos!!!'

Now THOSE names would sell some merchandise. Nobody wants a jersey that says Thunder on it. And what would a Thunder LOOK LIKE anyway? What would the mascot be? An acrobatic, tshirt-tossing cat named Rumbles, probably.

NOTE: other names the team is reportedly considering- Wind, Energy. Blech.

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