Basketball Mural FAIL

Nothing fucks up a neighborhood quicker than a really hideous mural. I did some digging around and found a handful of true masterpieces with basketball as the central theme.


This is clearly supposed to be MJ but it looks more like the lovechild of Tyrone 'Horseface' Hill and Bo 'Don't Call Me Tyrone Hill' Outlaw. In an unintended hint at realism, the she-male masquerading as John Starks still can't guard him.



Whoever painted this piece of shit has obviously never picked up a basketball in his/her pathetic life. 'Prometheus, methinks the fiery orb hath magickal properties!'



And wouldn't this be waaaaay more effective if the maniacal disco pimp emerging from the burning meth lab was holding a human head instead of a basketball?



Indiana Pacers team mural 2009. Just kidding (kind of). This catastrophe commemorates the Fighting Green Dragons, famous for proudly rocking highwaisted short shorts and driving their Studebakers to the 'match.'

Got any crappy basketball murals? Send 'em my way.

Loose Balls- Tuesday

*Yao might be done for next season and possibly his entire career, according to Bucher. Barring a trade, it looks like Houston will have to play Scola at center, not a winning formula in the ultra-competitive West where it'll take 45-50 wins to get into the postseason again.

*Carlos Boozer is supposedly weighing his options, trying to decide whether or not to opt out of his contract with Utah. C'mon. Of course he will. That's what he does. It's in his nature. The scorpion will always sting the frog and Carlos Boozeface will always bail out and break your team's heart.

UPDATE: Boozer just announced he's staying for another year...THEN he'll leave for more money. My bad.

*NY's plan to lure LeBron away from Cleveland next year is not going well. At all. Anyone really think a lineup of Darko, Duhon, Wilson Chandler, Lil' Nate and David Lee is going to turn his head? Me, neither. In fact, it reminds me a lot of the Cavs squad that LBJ inherited as a rook.

*By dumping Vince Cancer, the (Brooklyn) Nets have reduced their 2010 payroll to $38.

*Shaquille O'Neal changes the gameplan for Cleveland. On offense, he'll get a chance to initiate plays from the low post, kicking out to spot up shooters or dumping the ball in to cutters. This likely means less wear and tear on LeBron, which is a good thing. Shaq's propensity for attacking the rim will also draw more fouls on opposing centers (Dwight Howard, specifically) than having Big Z shooting 20-footers. This is also a plus. They'll still have problems defending the P&R but overall, a good move by Ferry (can't believe I just typed that).

*Hedo Turkoglu reportedly turned down a 35/mil extension to stay in Orlando. The club obviously saw this coming or they wouldn't have gone after VC. Most sportwriters seem to think this improves the Magic. I disagree. Turk's ability to initiate the offense and shoot over the top of the high screen/roll is why they beat Cleveland. I don't think that they should have given Hedo 10 mil or anything but now they're spending max money on one of the worst locker room guys in NBA history. FAIL.

*Lots of buzz about Portland's interest in Turk. Seems like a bad fit to me. Turk's best with the rock in his hands. So's Brandon Roy. Why would Pritchard overspend for a spot-up shooter and poor defender who's already 30 years old? I like Turk but not at the money he'll be asking for. KP needs to save that cash for a top-tier point guard. No, I don't mean Andre Miller.

*The Indiana Pacers chose dorky white guy Tyler Hansbrough in the lottery. Psycho T joins Dunleavy, Murphy, Diener, Foster, McRoberts and Nesterovic to form the dorkiest, whitest roster in recent memory (holla back, Minneapolis Lakers). AND they're still looking to move Marquis Daniels and Tinsley. That's two more open spots for slow-footed Caucasians! A name change seems in order. The Indiana Puffy Clouds. Or maybe The Indiana White Knights. Goathair from Blowtorch might suggest The Hans-Bros.

Pictured: Bird's wet dream team