Wednesday, January 6, 2010

To The Looney Bin In 2010!

What a freaky start to the New Year!

Gilbert Arenas has been suspended and declared "not currently fit to take the floor" by King Douche himself, despite the fact that several Wizards teammates were amused by Inmate Zero's locker room "joke" (his word, not mine) involving several unloaded firearms.

Ron Artest had to receive clearance from his neurologist to play in the Lakers recent contest against Houston. In case you missed it, Ron Ron had an outer body experience that he can't remember, resulting in a nasty fall down some stairs that cracked the back of his head open. Hennessey, Ecstasy or Insanity? In Lakerland, nobody seems to care. The event's been completely buried by the team. If that happened to Vlad Radmanovic, Phil Jackson would've hired private investigators to ferret out the truth. Just saying.

Former rebounding specialist and "accidental" murderer Jayson Williams rammed his car into a tree while intoxicated and then told police that he wasn't the driver, even though he was the only passenger in the vehicle. Williams was also unaware that the entire crash was captured on camera. Double doh.

But perhaps the most improbable of all these bizarre occurrences is the Memphis Grizzlies moving over the .500 mark behind MVP-caliber play of legendary loser, Zach Randolph. He's even passing the ball and playing defense! A real head scratcher. Until you remember that it's his contract year. Maybe it's not so crazy after all.

Pictured: the old Z-Bo would've shot both these balls already, right?

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