Thursday, August 16, 2007
Beasts of the Least
Unlimited spending power, carte blanche over all personnel moves, a devoted fan base that supports your decisions no matter how boneheaded- how many more advantages can Isiah Thomas have over the rest of the league? And yet the Knicks still suck balls. You get the idea that NY could spend 500 million a year and still not win the Atlantic. It's just plain embarrassing. Isiah's like that superhot chick with no self esteem who'll fuck anybody just to get some attention. Everyone tells her she's special and if she waits, the right man will come for her (Kobe? Lebron?), but then she goes out and picks up losers like Crawford, Curry and Randolph. When the real men finally come calling, Zeke's passed out with his dress over his head.
Speaking of people that usually get screwed hard and put away wet, Danny Ainge finally seems to have figured out how this whole trading thing works (receive good players, not give them away). It shouldn't really count when the GM you're taking advantage of is Kevin McHale but now, basking in the glow of the Garnett heist, suddenly Ainge doesn't look like such a complete imbecile anymore. Hey, McHale: how about Randy Foye for Scalabrine? If Danny Boy's serious about making some postseason noise, he better get some guys on that bench. House and Pollard AIN'T getting it done. Tony Allen had a nice stretch after the All-Star break but then (infamously) fucked up his knee showboating after the whistle. Celtic mystique, indeed. Well, at least we've still got Olowokandi.
Of the remaining free agents, only Anderson Varejao is any semblance of an impact player. Yeah, I said it. The dude boards, plays good D, generally makes a positive overall difference on any game. Granted, that shot he put up against Duncan in The Finals with the clock winding down was pretty sad and yes, he flops his ass off but I'd still bet that San Antonio goes after him the first chance they get. Varejao's got one of the better plus/minuses in the league, a stat more telling than mere scoring average. Don't sleep on Sideshow Bob. Dude's money.
Somebody who definitely is NOT money: Adonal Foyle. Did you hear the 'buzz' about him signing with Orlando. Seriously? If Otis Smith is clueless enough to give Rashard Lewis 100 mil, he might drop some cash on the notoriously talentless Foyle. What, Pervis Ellison wasn't interested?