Friday, August 17, 2012

Diss Guys Miss Guys, Volume 6

Diss Guys Miss Guys, Volume 6

I was tempted to declare Jason Richardson the Diss Guy of the week and Andrew Bynum the miss guy solely because of their excellent sartorial decisions (or the lack thereof). I mean, c'mon Bynum, you're a 24 year old man that has made somewhere around $70 million in your career, and that's what you wear to your first press conference with a new team? But who can blame him, when travesty's like Russell Westbrook's closet get held up as a shining example of fashion?

Diss Guy - Paul Gasol

I know we're over the Olympics already and looking forward to Sochi in 2014, but Pau Gasol deserves another minute or do in the limelight. Given Spain's tepid play during the rest of the tournament a lot of people (myself included) thought this game wouldn't be all that close, yet the game stayed close through the first half. The third quarter, however, is where the United States thrived this tournament, where they decided to stop toying around with opponents and release the barrage of threes. Going into the third quarter, Spain was destined to fail. Their best point guard (Ricky Rubio) was out of the tournament, and their second best point guard (Jose Calderon) was working on his Beyonce impression rather than, you know, playing basketball. Pau's formerly large brother Marc (I will ALWAYS find an excuse to post that picture) would sit out the third quarter after losing track of how many fouls he had committed.

Pau, as if screaming to his critics "I'm a top twenty NBA player!", responded by going to work. After Calderon and Ibaka miss shots, Spain's third quarter goes like this:

Pau makes jumperPau makes layup and gets the and onePau dunksSome other guy missesPau makes layupPau gets fouled and hits 1 of 2Pau makes jumper and gets the and oneFinally, six minutes after the quarter started, some other guy makes a shot. Credit Spain's other players for feeding Pau the rock, but it was about damn time somebody recognized the fallacy that is Kevin Love and Carmelo Anthony playing "defense" and attacked the middle against the US.
Miss Guy - Jason Terry

By all accounts, Jason Terry has had a pretty successful NBA career. He spent five quality years in Atlanta and eight in Dallas, was an integral part of a Championship winning team and has averaged 16.1 points over his thirteen year career. Hell, he even won a NCAA title with Arizona! Now, reaching the twilight of his career, he has signed with the Boston Celtics to hopefully inject their offense with the same kind of energy he brought to Dallas, and to replace an aging man celebrate. Like many people, to celebrate this new step in his life, he went out and got a tattoo:

What is that? You're having trouble seeing what that's a tattoo of? Here, let me give you a closeup:

Seriously? He got a huge full-color tattoo of a team he has yet to play a game for on his arm? I mean, I know he has done this sort of thing before and it has worked out for him, but I don't think he'll be so lucky this time around.

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