Here's a haiku for each team (in the traditional 5-7-5 syllabic format) summarizing their current state and what their future might look like.
Atlanta
Goodbye, Joe Johnson
Enjoy your time in New York
We'll miss you next year
Boston
These old creaky bones
Breaking down from all the miles
One last chance to shine
Charlotte
"Play the right way, guys"
Bow down before your savior
Still miss the playoffs
Chicago
Yay for Derrick Rose!
Why's Del Negro still our coach?
Did I mention Rose?
Cleveland
How to keep a King
Surround him with role players
Win the ring or else...
Dallas
So many jump shots
Another first round upset
Haywood Jablowme!
Denver
Memo to George Karl
You need a center to win
Nene's a forward
Detroit
Dumars the genius
Signed Gordon and Charlie V
Blame it on Kuester
Golden State
Poor Donny Boozeface
Going out with a whimper
Take Cohan with you
Houston
Winning without Yao
Daryl Morey knows his stats
Tough matchup next year
Indiana
Some dorky white guys
Plus 'overrated' Granger
Equals lottery
LA Clippers
Donald the slumlord
Why do you still have a team?
Run, Blake Griffin, run!
LA Lakers
So bored with it all
Saving it for the playoffs
Just like in '05
Memphis
There's no future here
Z-Bo's in a contract year
Gay's as good as gone
Miami
D Wade needs some help!
Carlos Boozer, come on down
It still won't matter
Milwaukee
Wow, Bogut can play!
But he's no Williams or Paul
Yep, had to go there
Minnesota
Hey, yo, David Kahn
Rubio ain't coming, dude
What's your backup plan?
New Jersey
Bro-Pez, the real deal
Jianlian, not so much
Chinese Keith Van Horn
New Orleans
Meka in the post
Not a good way to win games
Should Paul go elsewhere?
New York
"Come to us, Lebron!
Rebuild another loser"
Yeah, right. Keep dreaming.
Oklahoma City
Go, SuperStolens!
Erase the word, 'Seattle'
But still sell their swag
Orlando
We trust in you, Vince
To play D and take good shots
What were we thinking?
Philly
Oh, sure, fire the coach
'Cause that's the problem here, right?
Blow it up, rebuild
Phoenix
Amar'e opts in
Even though they don't want him
Get that money, kid
Portland
The future is now
Big deals for Roy and Aldridge
Sooooo, about Greg's knee...
Sacto
Who's Tyreke's big man?
Ol' tea baggin' Spencer Hawes?
Back to the draft, boys
San Antonio
Can Popozitz win
Without Tim Duncan around?
Do they sign Manu?
Toronto
Enjoying your shops
And Turkish community,
Mrs. Turkoglu?
Utah
No title for Sloan
Why? There's no jazz in Utah
And God hates Mormons
Washington
"We've still got Gilbert"
The sound of crickets chirping
And one hand clapping
Pictured: what you get by Googling 'zen basketball.' Yeeeaaaah.
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